A lot of talk

When I was a sophomore in college a friend approached me about joining the crew team to become a coxswain.  As I sat discussing my future as a coxswain, my best friend laughed and said, “We’ll see how long this last.  You never finish anything.”   That comment hit me like a ton of bricks, but he was right.  I am not only the world’s biggest procrastinator but I also start things and get really hyped about them and then abandon them like a sinking ship.   Needless to say that the next day I went to my first practice with the Virginia Tech Men’s crew team and stuck it out through the entire semester!  I will admit that I fell in love with Crew, but I also had to prove to my friend that I wasn’t a quitter.  I stuck with Crew for the next 3 years…on and off.  I’d like to be able to say I didn’t quit, but after one semester I was so burnt out and on the verge of failing classes that I had to take a semester off.  Junior year I stuck with the team for the entire year, but fall of senior year I quit again.  Why can’t I ever finish things I set out to do?

Since that fateful day in fall 2002 when a close friend slapped me in the face with the reality that I was all talk and not much doing, I can’t think of anything big that I’ve said I was going to do that I actually did.  The only exception to that is moving to Seattle, however it took me 1 year from the time I said I was going to move here to actually packing up and doing it.  Before that I must had mentioned at least 12 times about some big city I was going to move, I’d search for jobs, I’d look for apartments on Craigslist but at the end of the day I’d just go back to my quaint Alexandria apartment and go on with my boring Northern Virginia life.

Is it genetic that I never finish anything?  I wonder how many of my aunts, uncles, cousins find them selves being huge procrastinators and never finishing things.   I’d like to chalk it up to the fact that I’m 99% sure I have some sort of adult ADD, but who knows.  I know I can’t even unload the dishwasher, or switch a load of laundry without getting distracted and doing something else for 30 mins before I remember “Oh yeah! I need to finish putting those clothes in the dryer”.  Even while writing this blog post I’ve put my laptop down twice to get up and do something else, just because it happened to pop in my head.

I really want to change this habit.  I want to plan something and get it done start to finish, whether it be just cleaning the house, writing a blog post, or making a big life change.  I’ve been thinking for a year or so that I wanted to write a book.  Not because I think people will even want to read it, or because I think it’ll become a best seller, but I just think that I have a lot of stories to tell (most that I’ve never told anyone) and I think they would be interesting to write down.  I have horrible grammar, and I’m not a very concise writer, but what the heck.  It would just be for me.   Is this something I will actually do and finish??   Now I feel the need to go sit in a cliche Seattle coffee shop and type away like I’m working on something really important.  Of course, I say that now, but in 3 hours when I’m still running around my apartment; starting and not finishing 500 mundane tasks; we’ll see what happens.   At least I managed to finish this blog post…that’s something!

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