Monthly Archives: February 2008

weather forecasting

What does it take to be a meteorologist?  Or in layman terms, a weatherman, or weather”wo”man, for all you feminist.    No matter what you call them, or when you watch them, whether it be your local news, Al Rocker on Today, or the ticker tape on the weather Channel; day after we put our lives on hold for 5 minutes to check the weather forecast.   We base our entire day on a few simple words that some person on the TV tells us.   We hear, “it’s going to rain”, and we immediately cancel any outdoor activities we had and shift our whole day indoors, not to mention carry our faithful umbrella, or wear a hooded gortex jacket every time we dare venture out of the house.    We hear, “bright and sunny, high in the 70s”, and immediately cancel our appts and plan our day at the park, or anything outdoors.   If they even mention the word “snow” or “ice” we immediately run to the grocery store, stock up on everything we can, pull our windsheild wipers up when we park, and huddle under blankets waiting for the blizzard that we are sure is coming.

We are all guilty of planning our day to day activities on the idea that what the weather forecasters say is true.  I admit to be guilty of this too, but why?   Why should we listen to some godzilla lady (if you live in DC and watch the local 6AM news on NBC you know who I’m talking about) tell us how to go about our day based on her “forecast”.   I for one am giving up the weather channel, I’m muting the TV when the forecast is coming up, and I’m deleting all my links.   Over the past couple weeks we have been tricked time after time to think we are getting one thing only to not.   Monday is was 70 degrees in DC, and the forecast I chose to watch said partly sunny all day, high near 70.  To top it off the forecaster herself urged everyone to get outdoors and enjoy the weather because a cold front would be coming through.  I had to work, but being as it was a Holiday I left work at 2pm, hoping to get home and spend a gorgeous afternoon at the dog park with Brodie and Lane.   Boy was I in for a surprise.   Five minutes after leaving my office the rain started.  First it was a slight drizzle, which I thought would pass, but within 10 minutes it was pouring buckets and continued to do so for a good 2 or 3 hours.   So much for playing hooky to enjoy the nice weather.

Last night, I brought everything home from work, prepared to work from home, because every forecaster was calling for Snow and Ice, and to be careful driving.   Of course, to my surprise, I woke up this morning and threw open the curtains to see nothing but some wet roads and a few slushy spots on the sidewalk.  No ice.  No snow.   I decided to work from home anyway, since I went through the trouble of lugging 3 bags of drawings, a laptop, and binders home with me last night.

With all this blabbing, my point is that I am giving up the weather forecast.   I’m going to take my chances.   I’m going to step outside in the morning and determine for myself how to dress for the temperature.   I’m going to look at the clouds and determine if it will rain or snow before I plan my activities.

I am boycotting the not so accurate weather forecasters!   Who is with me??

stinky! stinky!

So, I was catching up on some old news from the Express newspaper online. You know that small newspaper published by the Washington Post that is handed out Free at every metro station during the morning commute. The paper that morning metro riders bury their faces in to avoid eye contact with the 30 people crammed within a 3′ radius of your face. Yes, that paper!! Anywho, I was catching up on some old articles from last month when I came across an article titled, “A Stinky Situation on Metrorail”. Now some of you metro riders, or Express readers might know the story all too well. Heck, some of you that ride the Red Line on a regular basis might have been present for the actual happening but, I hope not.

What comes to mind when you read a headline such as, “A Stinky Situation on Metrorail”?

My first thoughts are, perhaps a skunk made it onto a train and sprayed it was therefore “stinky”. Perhaps they are referring to the undeniable body funk that fills the evening rush hour cars from people who just trucked from their offices to the train, with wet pit stains on their dress shirts. One more theory would be, they are poking fun at the people who fart on the metro and just watch silently as people start to cover their noses and look around in disgust. I was NOT prepared for the article to follow. I can not describe my thoughts when reading the article, so I’ll just post the link and let you come up with your own. Enjoy!!

A Stinky Situation on Metrorail

*(the article also links to the original blog, so I recommend that as some reading as well.  It gives a few more details into the occurrence)

757 at it’s best.

I am sure all you people from THE 757 have seen this list before, but I was feeling nostalgic with all the debate about rolling houses and being southern so I thought it was time to resurrect the You Know You’re From the 757 if…List.   Can all you 757 people relate???

  1. You can name at least three of Mike Joynes’ law partners.
  2. You can finish the “Beach Ford” song…
  3. You know that 64 West in Chesapeake is actually going east.
  4. Virginia Beach is “Va Beach” unless you actually live there.
  5. You know that “Hampton Roads” aren’t actual roads.
  6. You don’t go to the beach every day.
  7. You don’t want to go to the beach every day.
  8. You know which beaches to avoid, unlike the tourists.
  9. You believe that Meyera Oberndorf will be the mayor of Virginia Beach for all time.
  10. Little Neck and Great Neck are not locations on Long Island.
  11. Little Neck Creek is not on Little Neck.
  12. Any westbound trip you’ve ever made involves at least one tunnel.
  13. You can name at least three underwater tunnels within a twenty mile radius of your home.  Extra points if you can name all five.[1]
  14. One of your Adopt-A-School partners in elementary school was a U.S. Navy vessel.
  15. You can say “Norfolk” while sounding neither obscene nor incorrect.
  16. You don’t stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.
  17. You’ve seen Rudy Boesch, from Survivor, in the Farm Fresh.
  18. You’ve seen Pat Robertson in the Farm Fresh.
  19. You’ve seen Timbaland or Missy Elliiott in the Farm Fresh.
  20. You even know what a Farm Fresh is.
  21. You know which parts of each city to stay out of.
  22. Sometimes the cities just blur into one big metropolis.
  23. Sorry, I meant “suburb.”
  24. You’ve been to more minor-league sports games than major-league. (More points if you can name three Hampton Roads minor-league teams)[2]
  25. You know that on-base purchases have no sales tax. (Further points if you can name four military installations in the area)[3]
  26. Newport News is not a catalog, it is a city.
  27. It’s Hampton, not The Hamptons.
  28. It’s not a peninsula, it’s the Peninsula.  With a capital P.
  29. You can name all the I-64 spurs.
  30. It’s not Portsmouth, it’s P-town.
  31. It’s not Virginia Beach Boulevard, it’s just The Boulevard.
  32. The Strip isn’t a nudie bar, it’s a tourist trap.
  33. To you, Scope isn’t just mouthwash.
  34. The Boathouse doesn’t actually dock any boats.
  35. You’ve been to the 17th Street Surf Shop.
  36. No, the real one.
  37. You know what WRV, Hotline, Roxy, Billabong, and Quiksilver are.
  38. You’ve ever heard “South Side” by Moby while actually on the Southside.
  39. You know Dam Neck and Birdneck aren’t necks of any kind.
  40. You use Cox Cable and refer to Cox High School without even snickering.
  41. You know Mount Trashmore is a real place, not a joke.
  42. You don’t mind the jet noise.
  43. You don’t slow down in the tunnel, because it’s not a big deal.  Stupid out-of-towners.
  44. Walking up hills causes an instant asthma attack.
  45. While away from home, you can identify a fellow HR resident by their being the only one in a 17th Street shirt and flip flops.  In December.
  46. You can go surfing and strawberry-pickin’ in the same day.
  47. The left lane is not the passing lane, it is the only lane.
  48. You know what Rita’s Italian Ice is.
  49. You have friends at three other high schools, minimum.
  50. Jimmy Buffet is a regular fixture at parties and social events.
  51. A hermit crab is a legitimate pet.
  52. You know not to bring your golf clubs to the Tidewater Country Club.
  53. No, it’s a city.  Not a county.
  54. It’s normal for seven cities to be linked in almost every conceivable way.
  55. Your city is 20 miles long but only 3 miles wide.
  56. You can leave town for years at a time to find the same sections of road still under construction.
  57. Base/shipyard traffic is one of the most dehumanizing experiences you can think of.
  58. You have to adopt a surrogate professional sports team because you live in the largest metropolitan area without a single one.
  59. It’s Seven Five Seven, not Seven Fifty-Seven.
  60. An inch of snow closes everything down.
  61. 3 inches is a blizzard.
  62. You’ve been due for a “Major Hurricane” for about 15 years.
  63. Earthquakes?  Pardon?
  64. Your region is having an identity crisis: Hampton Roads? Greater Norfolk?  Tidewater?  Norfolk-Virginia Beach-Newport News?
  65. At least 75 mph on the interstate: It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law.  If you want to survive.
  66. You know who the Norwegian Lady is.
  67. No, you can’t walk to the beach.  Moron.
  68. You block the box.
  69. You didn’t immediately respond to #68 with “What?”
  70. The pedestrians are only at the beach.
  71. You’ve seen Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown, and First Landing.  And don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
  72. During Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, instead of saying “Too bad for him,” you say “That guy was in my gym class!”
  73. You can see another 7-11 from the 7-11 you’re currently at.
  74. You can’t afford Nordstrom.  But you have one.
  75. Why shop at Gap and Old Navy when you have Walmart, Target, and Payless?
  76. MacArthur was not only a brilliant general, but a fine shopping establishment.
  77. Bridges go over water, not land.
  78. Tagalog is a language, and you might know a few words, if not speak fluently.
  79. You know not to swim at Buckroe Beach.
  80. You know Jefferson Park is not a real park.
  81. You don’t laugh when you hear “Rip Rap Road.”
  82. You hear “downtown” and immediately think of some other city.
  83. You have to specify which Lynnhaven, Princess Anne, or Kempsville Road you’re referring to.
  84. You have to go to DC to see any of the big-name concerts because you live in the largest demographic cul-de-sac in the United States.
  85. You can name all the HR cities.[4]
  86. You don’t know what the big deal about lacrosse is.
  87. Nor do you know what the big deal about ice hockey is.  Rhinos?  Who?[5]
  88. You know that Norfolk International Airport isn’t really an international airport.
  89. Newport News/Williamsburg International Airport never even enters your mind.
  90. No, you’re not hallucinating.  Those are mermaids.
  91. You’ve attended the Neptune Festival without being pagan.
  92. You’re still wearing sandals in November.
  93. You’re a Republican.
  94. You know the real reason we haven’t been hit by a hurricane in the last several years is because of Pat Robertson.  Emphatically cough here for emphasis.
  95. You’ve ever wonder how many fish and crabs PETA killed building their new headquarters on the banks of the beautiful Elizabeth River.
  96. You had a nickel for every OBX sticker you saw on the road, you’d be a rich man by now.
  97. You’re tired of there being no respect for your home.
  98. You know that it all started here.[6]

[1] The Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel (I-64), The Monitor-Merrimac Memorial Bridge Tunnel (I-664), The Downtown Tunnel (I-264), The Midtown Tunnel (U.S. 58), and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel (U.S. 13)

[2] The Norfolk Admirals (AHL), The Norfolk Nighthawks (af2), The Norfolk Tides (AAA baseball), the Hampton Roads Mariners (minor league MLS), and the Hampton Roads Piranhas (women’s minor league MLS)

[3] Norfolk Naval Station, Norfolk Naval Air Station, Oceana Master Jet Base, the Norfolk Shipyard, Camp Pendleton, Fort Story, Fort Monroe, Fort Eustis, Little Creek Amphibious Base, Craney Island, St. Julian Creek Annex, Fentress Field.

[4] In order of population: Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Newport News, Hampton, Portsmouth, Suffolk.  Maybe Williamsburg, if you’re feeling generous.  Add York and James City Counties if you’re not in an urban mood.

[5] The Hampton Roads/Norfolk Rhinos were a failed attempt by George Shinn to bring an NHL franchise to Norfolk.  Didn’t work.  Surprised?  Don’t be.

[6] The settlers of Jamestown landed on Cape Henry before establishing the first permanent English colony, just through Hampton Roads and up the James.